SA’s quicks Rabada and Jansen then tore through a line-up already missing the injured Ayub

Danyal Rasool04-Jan-2025Pakistan’s horror day in Cape Town was complete after South Africa ripped through their top order to leave them staring down the barrel of a huge defeat. Having posted 615 thanks to a double-hundred from Ryan Rickelton and a century from Kyle Verreynne, South Africa’s quicks Kagiso Rabada and Marco Jansen tore through a Pakistan line-up already missing the injured Saim Ayub. So effectively, South Africa are six wickets away from making Pakistan bat again, with the visitors a mammoth 551 runs behind after day two.Having taken command before lunch, South Africa ground Pakistan into the dust in the afternoon. Rickelton ended up with 259, falling just short of Stephen Fleming’s 262 as the highest score at Newlands. Verreynne brought up his fourth Test hundred. Jansen, out of form with the bat all year in 2024, heralded the new year with a whirlwind half-century. Six fours and three sixes helped him get there in 42 balls. Thus, as many as 137 runs were added in the second session, with South Africa having surged to 566 for 7 by tea, already their highest score at home in four years.Pakistan gamely battled on, but their efforts never looked like bearing fruit on a wicket that had long since flattened, and batters that had long since settled. Much of the second session became a milestone-marking exercise. Verreynne continued with the belligerence that had lit up the first session, a boundary off Mohammad Abbas and a single off the next ball bringing up three figures. It brought Newlands to its feet once more; they may have sore legs from the frequency with which they had to do that.Salman Ali Agha struck next over to prise him out as Verreynne went for a slog sweep, but it did little to stymie South Africa’s momentum. With no scoreboard pressure, Jansen let his natural talent speak for itself, swinging freely and timing it beautifully. He took 11 balls to get off the mark, but once he did, there was no stopping him. Two fours and a six off Khurram Shahzad in two successive overs helped bring up the 50 partnership in 46 balls, while each of Rickelton and Jansen helped themselves to sixes off Salman.Kyle Verreynne got to his fourth Test hundred•AFP/Getty Images

Pakistan finally saw the back of Rickelton before tea was called. Having slapped Mir Hamza over his head for four, he top-edged the next ball to Abbas at long-on, who hung on to send him on his way, but not before he had nearly doubled his Test tally in one innings.In the morning, Rickelton had become the first South African in eight years to score a Test double hundred as South Africa tightened their grip on the Test. Pakistan began the session with some promise, taking the new ball immediately and striking within four overs, when Abbas tempted David Bedingham into a push outside off stump and induced an outside edge. It gave Pakistan a lift, but Rickelton merely carried on with the discipline that saw him go in overnight unbeaten on 176. He was cautious against the length deliveries and dismissive of everything else.Verreynne, meanwhile, was less discerning in his shot selection, a hook over deep backward square off Abbas revealing his intentions. It was a shot that defined the session for him; he picked up another two sixes off Jamal in the final over before lunch the same way. When Shan Masood put in three fielders close in at cover, he still found a way to pierce them through that region against Hamza, whose attempts to induce cover drives were successful, but just not in the way he had hoped.At the other end, Rickelton got to his double hundred with a punch through the off side, haring off halfway down the field in celebration. But the highlights all belonged to Verreynne, who greeted Salman with a reverse sweep for four off the second ball, and another one to finish the over off. Before the session was out, Verreynne had taken Jamal down by plundering 17 runs in an over.Kagiso Rabada got two early wickets with the new ball•Gallo Images

Pakistan finally did manage to bring the innings to a close after more than 140 overs under the hot Newlands sun, finishing, with pleasing symmetry, the way they started it. Abbas hit the top of off to knock back debutant Kwena Maphaka’s stumps, just like ball-tracking projected Abbas would have done off the innings’ first ball had Aiden Markram’s pad didn’t get in the way.But as soon as they started with the bat, they might almost have been left wishing South Africa’s innings didn’t end. Masood didn’t see out the first over, pushing at a Rabada delivery that nibbled away and took his outside edge along with it. Saud Shakeel fell in almost identical fashion as he uncharacteristically drove at Rabada, the same edge carrying to the same slip fielder, with David Bedingham making no mistake.In between, extra pace and bounce from Jansen forced Kamran Ghulam into an awkward position that culminated in his stumps being scattered behind him.So threatening was South Africa’s opening salvo and so listless were Pakistan’s batters that it felt the hosts might burrow deep into the tail this evening. But Babar Azam, opening in the absence of Ayub, dug in alongside Mohammad Rizwan, and South Africa’s replacement bowlers were not quite at Rabada and Jansen’s devastating level.It helped Pakistan that made sure they ended a day that had no redeeming features with the hope the next one may delay the inevitable a while longer.

England seamer acknowledges whitewash in Australia was big setback in attempt to inspire new generation

Valkerie Baynes07-Mar-2025Kate Cross believes cultural change must form part of England’s rise from their Women’s Ashes nadir as the team sets out to win back fans as well as cricket matches.Cross admitted there was little positive to say off the back of a 16-nil points defeat at the hands of Australia, as players and staff await the outcome of an ECB review into the tour.”There’s areas that we probably know we need to address from cricket points of view, but also from probably cultural points of view as well,” Cross said. “This review, I don’t know what’s going to come of it, but I’m hoping that these are the things that will get addressed, and pave the way for the next generation to want to play for England.”The result in Australia was particularly disappointing for England in light of the excitement and optimism that the team generated in the course of their home Ashes campaign in 2023, in which they battled back from defeat in the one-off Test to square the series 8-8 with victories in both white-ball legs.”Ultimately I feel like we might’ve lost a few fans in the last couple of months, which is really sad from our point of view,” Cross added. “I think the 2023 Ashes was how good it can be and the 2025 Ashes how bad it can be.”The review, announced by Clare Connor, managing director of England Women’s Cricket, in the immediate aftermath of the Ashes whitewash, has conducted player interviews and is expected to make public its recommendations later this month.Cross brought a unique perspective to her evaluation of the tour, having travelled with a bulging disc in her back, which ultimately kept her sidelined throughout despite repeated attempts to prove her fitness to play.She acknowledged that, as professional athletes, players must accept increased scrutiny of their performances and she hoped people would “fall back in love with English cricket” after a torrid winter for both the women’s and men’s teams, the latter dumped out of contention in the Champions Trophy after two matches.England failed to win a match in the multi-format Women’s Ashes and were comprehensively out-played by hosts Australia, with the tourists’ physical fitness and mental toughness coming under the microscope, particularly in the wake of a row involving Alex Hartley, the former World Cup-winner turned commentator.Related

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“It was unprecedented how poorly we performed over there, I don’t think anyone probably anticipated the Ashes turning out the way it did, and obviously there was a huge disappointment that came with that,” Cross said.”As a group of players now, we don’t know what’s going to come of this review that’s happening at the moment, but I think it motivates you to be a better group of players and a better, I guess, version of yourself.”For Cross, it was a particularly frustrating trip, coming more than a decade on from her breakthrough performance at Perth on the 2013-14 tour of Australia, where her starring role on Test debut helped set England up for their most recent Ashes series win.”My reflections on my trip were quite unusual. I didn’t get to play a game of cricket, but as a 33-year-old getting ruled out of an Ashes series was devastating. So I feel like it’s made me really think about how I want to manage my career now moving forwards and, with the new structure of the tiers in the counties, I’m hoping that I’ll be so well supported with that, that that wasn’t my last Ashes hopefully.England’s players look on as Australia celebrate their Women’s Ashes whitewash•Getty Images

“Ultimately as players, we still want to try and get young girls interested in the game and us losing quite drastically isn’t going to do that. So we’re going to have to have a real look at how we want to portray ourselves as a team moving forward and try and get a bit of love back from our fans because we, or certainly I, felt that we kind of lost a lot of that from our Ashes series, so hopefully we can move in the right direction now.”Her comments suggest an acceptance that the ‘inspire and entertain’ mantra the team has espoused since Jon Lewis took over as head coach in 2022 has become irrelevant amid a rash of poor performances, going back to the group-stage exit at the T20 World Cup in October.Cross was speaking at the launch of the Professional Cricketers’ Association Women’s Impact Report, highlighting advances made in the game since 2020. That progress includes equal domestic minimum salaries of £28,000 for men and women from this season, where women’s teams have been aligned with the men’s in a three-tiered county-based structure.But more work remains to be done, including addressing the salary gap between genders in the Hundred, which widened rather than closed this year. While the leading earners in the men’s competition will earn £200,000, an increase of 60%, the top earners in the women’s game will earn £65,000, up 30%. The base salary for men went up by £1,000 on last year to £31,000 compared to the women, who went from £8,000 to £10,000.”I would hope to see that it happens quite quickly, especially with how vocal the players were about the pay gap getting bigger,” Cross said. “It was obviously a disappointment, but I’m always of the bigger picture, that the Hundred has done a lot for the women’s game. It continues to do that. It puts us in a spotlight that we’ve never had before in the domestic game.”So as disappointing as those headlines are, there’s still a lot of great stuff and there’s a lot more money coming into the game now and hopefully that’ll get pushed in the right direction and the gender play gap will continue to get smaller rather than get bigger.”A PCA working group will lobby the ECB on various aspects of the Hundred, which will receive a huge injection of funds through private investment from next season.Daryl Mitchell, PCA chief executive, said: “From our side, I think particularly the announcement of the salaries took us a little bit by surprise this time around, I think the communication needs to improve, particularly in that sort of announcement. What we were shown in October actually, at the players’ summit, was very different in terms of salary bands to what was actually produced and put out publicly.”There’s been some pretty robust discussions about that process, it’s fair to say, over the last couple of months. The ECB have stated it was an interim year with the sale of the Hundred franchises with a view to increase the salaries across the board next year. There’s a lot of things to work through.”

Batting coach Thilina Kandamby said Sri Lanka had initially hoped to play three seamers, but changed their minds when they saw the pitch

Andrew Fidel Fernando25-Jun-2025Pitches at the Sinhalese Sports Club (SSC) in Colombo tend to come in two varieties. There were the mega run-fest flatbeds of the late aughts. Since then, they have tended to be be big-turning dustbowls.But the track for the second Test between Sri Lanka and Bangladesh is unusual, as Bangladesh batter Shadman Islam and Sri Lanka batting coach Thilina Kandamby agree. Shadman is playing his first Test at this venue. Kandamby played domestic cricket here for more than a decade. But they’ve both arrived at roughly the same conclusion: this pitch is unexpectedly difficult to bat on.”It’s a two-paced wicket, when it usually has even bounce here,” Kandamby said after the first day’s play. “This is an unusual wicket at SSC because I’ve been playing here for almost 15 years. This is a totally different wicket. With the uneven bounce, even we were surprised by it.”Related

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Shadman, who is currently top-scorer for Bangladesh with 46 off 93 balls, also said that run-scoring was not easy. At least four of Bangladesh’s top seven batters were out playing aggressive strokes, including Shadman himself.”I think the wicket was a little bit slow,” he said. “You cannot score runs without playing shots. We played shots [during the first Test] in Galle too where those ended in boundaries. But unfortunately, maybe it was not our day today.”Having batted longer than anyone on this track, Shadman felt that 270 or 280 would be a good first-innings score for Bangladesh, who ended day one at 220 for 8. He also said there was enough juice in this pitch for Bangladesh’s own bowlers to exploit during Sri Lanka’s innings.”It’s very different conditions to Galle,” Kandamby said. “It was more batting-friendly than previous Galle wickets, and Bangladesh batted brilliantly. But here, we planned a few things about how to get them out, and some of those plans worked. We’d actually been hoping to play three seamers, but decided not to after coming here and seeing the wicket. For me, it’s an unusual SSC track.”

Fast bowler joins Bristol exodus after agreeing three-year contract

ESPNcricinfo staff04-Aug-2025Fast bowler Zaman Akhter has become the latest Gloucestershire player to agree a move away from the club after signing a three-year deal with Essex.Zaman has featured for England Lions after impressing with his pace for Gloucestershire. He made his first-class debut in 2019 for Oxford MCCU before gaining a second chance through the South Asian Cricket Academy, leading to a county contract at the age of 24.Essex are currently third from bottom in Division One of the County Championship and beginning a process of reshaping their squad after the return of Chris Silverwood as director of cricket before the start of the season.”We are really excited to bring ‘Zum’ into the group,” Silverwood said. “He is a player we’ve had our eye on for a while and we really believe his quality will add and strengthen our bowling group.”I look forward to working closely with Zaman over the winter period when we prepare for the 2026 season, integrating him into the squad and our plans for the season ahead.”Zaman is the fourth Gloucestershire quick to announce their departure in recent weeks. Ajeet Singh Dale will join Lancashire at the end of the season, while Tom Price and Dom Goodman are making the switch to Sussex. Long-serving batter Chris Dent has also announced his retirement.Zaman said: “I’m absolutely thrilled to be joining Essex. It’s a great club with a rich history and a strong winning culture, and I can’t wait to get started.”I’m really looking forward to contributing on and off the field, learning from some outstanding players and coaches. Speaking to Chris Silverwood, it’s a really exciting time and hopefully I can thrive at Essex to help contribute to their future success.”

Hampshire openers rack up 152-run stand to set up thumping win in rain-reduced contest

ECB Reporters Network supported by Rothesay07-Sep-2025Leaders Hampshire Women clinched a semi-final berth in the Metro Bank One-Day Cup after a convincing nine-wicket victory with 13.2 overs to spare against Durham Women at the Banks Homes Riverside.The defeat leaves Durham in fifth place with two rounds to play, one point behind fourth-placed Surrey with the two sides meeting in the final group match at Chester-le-Street next Saturday.Initially chasing a target of 225, Hampshire opening pair of Maia Bouchier and Rhianna Southby produced an attacking start that saw 74 runs arrive from the 10-over powerplay and they had raced along with some fine strokeplay to reach 144 for 0 from 19 overs when rain took 13 overs out of the game.A revised DLS target of 171 in 37 overs made little difference, and despite the loss of Southby for 58, Bouchier and Freya Kemp quickly scored the 27 needed to clinch an impressive victory.Earlier, a fighting 88 by captain Hollie Armitage had given Durham some hope with the hosts posting 224 for 9 after a poor start. Armitage came to the crease in the eighth over and batted through to the last, hitting nine fours, but found partnerships difficult to come by until Grace Thompson finally provided great support for the eighth wicket. The pair added 72 to rescue Durham from a perilous 144 for 7 with 18-year-old Thompson contributing a List A career-best 39.Georgia Adams with 3 for 41 led an excellent bowling effort by the visitors with Freya Davies impressive with 2 for 30 along with Bex Tyson (2 for 40).Southby and Bouchier made a strong start to the Hampshire run chase, the pair attacking effectively to race to their fifty partnership from just 41 balls in increasingly gloomy overhead conditions that required the use of the floodlights.Bouchier was the first to reach her half century – her fifth in this season’s competition – from 47 balls hitting eight fours, with the century partnership arriving moments later from only 86 balls as Durham struggled to exert any control with the ball.Southby hit the first six of the game on her way to a 45-ball fifty that also included eight fours as the Hampshire openers raced along at nearly eight runs per over to put the outcome in little doubt.It was an impressive display, with Bouchier not out on 76 from 67 balls and Southby unbeaten on 56 from 50 balls when rain stopped play at 3.30pm with Hampshire 144-0 after 19 overs. After an 80 minutes delay, the target was reduced to 171 from 37 overs and Durham finally made a breakthrough when Thompson bowled Southby for 58 to end a fine 152-run partnership.Bouchier and Kemp then eased their way to 174 for 1 in the 24th over to clinch the win.After opting to bat, Durham lost both opening batters in the powerplay, Mia Rogers run out for 6 and Emma Marlow caught at cover for 12 during an impressive five over spell of 1 for 9 by Davies.Armitage and Mady Villiers had begun to fashion a recovery with a steady partnership of 30 before Villers on 19 was tempted into a drive off left-arm spinner Tyson that ended up in the hands of Mary Taylor at mid-on. That also proved to be the fate of Emily Windsor when she picked out Bouchier off Adams for 13 who then had Bess Heath caught behind three balls later to leave Durham struggling on 89 for 5 in the 22nd over.It left a lot resting on the shoulders Armitage, and she responded with a determined innings, passing fifty off 65-balls for the fifth time while becoming the second batter to pass 500 runs in the competition this season. But Durham continued to lose wickets at the other end. Having taken 1 for 14 from a six-over spell, Tyson returned to bowl Phoebe Turner around her legs for 18 while Adams picked up her third wicket when trapping Katherine Fraser lbw sweeping for 4.An excellent innings by Thompson finally lent Armitage the support needed over the final 15 overs, the pair adding 72 off 86 balls – easily the highest partnership of the innings – with Armitage’s excellent effort ending in the final over as Durham posted a far better total than had looked likely earlier, but one the visitors comfortably hauled in.

South Africa allrounder was reported for a suspect action last month in Australia and hasn’t played since

Firdose Moonda07-Sep-2025South Africa’s offspin-allrounder Prenelan Subrayen’s bowling action has been found to be legal by an independent testing centre. Subrayen, who has one Test and one ODI cap to his name, was reported for a suspect action last month in Australia and has not played since.While Subrayen was never suspended from bowling, South Africa chose to rest him for their remaining matches in Australia and did not name him in their squad for their ongoing series in England. Subrayen was tested in Brisbane on August 26 and an ICC statement confirmed that “the amount of elbow extension for all his deliveries was within the 15-degree level of tolerance permitted under the ICC Illegal Bowling Regulations”.This is the third time Subrayen’s action has come under scrutiny. In December 2012, his action was deemed illegal and he was placed in a Cricket South Africa rehabilitation program. He was cleared to bowl again in January 2013. A year later he was reported during a Champions League T20 tournament in India and then suspended from bowling in November 2015 when all his deliveries were found to exceed the 15-degree limit. After failing a reassessment in January 2016, he was cleared to resume bowling in March that year.Subrayen has been playing in South Africa’s domestic system since 2011 and made his Test debut against Zimbabwe in July. He remains part of South Africa’s plans as they build to the next two white-ball World Cups.

With 10 minutes on the clock and his side one goal down in the Carabao Cup against Manchester City, Dean Smith made a substitution in an attempt to get his side back into the game.

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He opted to go for an attacking option, bringing Keinan Davis on to replace Tanzanian striker Mbwana Samatta.

While the intent was there from the manager, Villa fans were far from impressed by the decision that he made.

One fan stated they have “zero confidence in Smith now”, while another stated that is is “time to go” for the Villa boss.

Samatta had shown how clinical he can be earlier on in the game, when he powered a terrific header past Claudio Bravo, so it seemed like a confusing move to bring off somebody with that ability in front of goal.

Did he really play for us?! No Villa fan has managed to name all of these obscure Villans….

Villa fans were not afraid to show their frustrations, claiming that Smith is “absolutely clueless”, highlighting the lack of faith they have in him after the decision.

There were some fans who felt he was correct to bring Davis on, but that he should have put him alongside Samatta, rather than using him to replace the Tanzanian.

The 22-year-old put himself about once getting onto the pitch, as signified by his two tackles and two aerial duels won.

However, the fact that he didn’t manage any shots, key passes or dribbles indicates that he perhaps could have benefited from having a strike partner alongside him.

Meanwhile, Villa fans reacted to a heartbreaking video of Jack Grealish.

In just a few weeks time the annual wait will be over, with FIFA 16 set to be snatched hastily from store shelves, grabbed from letterboxes or downloaded in eager anticipation. Of course the main focus of the game is the players, and we all want to know who are the best and just how ratings have changed over the course of the past 12 months. Well, luckily the good people at EA Sports have been drip-feeding us eager gamers some nuggets of information in the shape of a countdown of the best of the best… And here are numbers 20 to 11…

20) Philipp Lahm

Bayern’s star full-back/holding midfielder remains one of the best around.

19) Luka Modric

The Croatian’s metronomic passing earns him an 87 rating.

18) Mesut Ozil

Arsenal’s German playmaker maintains his slot at the upper end of the game’s rankings.

17) Sergio Ramos

One of the better centre-backs around, as reflected by a cool 87 overall rating.

16) Cesc Fabregas

His recent form hasn’t dropped Fabregas down the pecking order. 90 for passing is truly impressive.

15) Jerome Boateng

Physically imposing, Boateng comes at No.15 with an 87 rating.

14) Toni Kroos

81 and 88 for shooting and passing respectively should make Kroos one to get.

13) James Rodriguez

The Colombian is once again one of the best ‘line of three’ players for Real Madrid.

12) Sergio Aguero

89 for pace and 87 for shooting… Aguero will be lethal.

11) Andres Iniesta

Still one of the best in the business. His champagne style will surely be reflected by his 88 rating.

Numbers 10-1 are set to be released today… CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL

Despite new boss Jurgen Klopp stating he won’t return to former club Borussia Dortmund in order to poach their star players, Liverpool fans must be in dreamland merely at the prospect of such a notion. With all the toing and froing that goes on in modern transfer deals, it really isn’t out of the realms of possibility that the next two transfer windows could see some Dortmund stars follow their former boss to Anfield.

That is not to say the likes of Matts Hummels and Marco Reus will be wearing the famous all red kit next year, but the Merseyside giants still have an allure, an attraction when attracting top talents. With even Bayern Munich superstar Thomas Muller describing Premier League pay packets as ‘very tempting’, it’s beginning to look like Liverpool could indeed be an attractive proposition.

[ffc-gal cat=”liverpool” no=”5″]

Obviously, a World Cup winning centre-back in Hummels or a lethal wide man like Reus would be any manager’s dream, but there’s another name in play at the Westfalenstadion that would suit the Reds down to the ground.

His name is Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, and he’s in thrilling form.

The 26-year old Gabon international has gone from strength to strength since arriving in Germany from Saint-Etienne, proving himself to be one of the most effective forwards in Europe – netting a stunning 14 goals in 14 games this season.

He’s one of the speediest players in the modern game, tied with Arjen Robben as having the fastest recorded sprint on a football pitch. However, the former AC Milan youngster possess the technical ability to either cut inside and run at a terrified defence, or peel off the back of the last defender to run through on goal.

Often, jet heeled forwards in the mould of the Dortmund man are labelled as ‘speed merchants’, players who simply run fast in straight lines and don’t really know how to play football. Think early years Theo Walcott.

That can’t be applied to Aubameyang, who’s a very intelligent player. His understanding of ferocious forward play allows him to play across the front line, often being deployed as a lone front man but equally as comfortable on either wing.

His link up play with Robert Lewandowski in their only season for Dortmund was fantastic. The two combined time and time again, breaking through compact defences with intricate passing and movement, and utilising the Gabon forward’s electric pace to devastating effect.

With the likes of Philippe Coutinho and Roberto Firmino currently calling Anfield home, the Brazilian duo could be the schemers plotting to release the 26-year old. Since the departure of Raheem Sterling, the Reds have lacked an extra dimension as an alternative to some single-paced possession.

Only Jordon Ibe offers a natural wide option in the squad currently, and in a Liverpool side struggling for goals, the Dortmund man could be the best of both worlds.

Either Daniel Sturridge or Christian Benteke can be the focal point of the Reds’ attack, and though neither are in the same class as Lewandowski, the potency of their potential link up play is a mouth-watering prospect.

Much has been made about Klopp’s ‘heavy metal’ philosophy, and a move for Aubameyang could provide the relevant volume to get opposing defenders head banging.

Without such a player, this ‘heavy metal’ project could go down like a led zeppelin.

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Believe it or not, we’re now already ten games into the new Premier League season. As expected,ÂGameweekÂ10Âthrew up yet another roundÂof exciting, dramatic and unpredictableÂfixtures.Indeed, yesterday we saw West Ham record a shock 2-1 againstÂChelsea and Arsenal assert their over dominance Everton by the same scoreline, whilst today’s action included two local derbies and Jurgen Klopp’s first Premier League home match in charge of Liverpool.Newcastle United and Sunderland squared off in a firey but eventually one-sided Tyne-Wear derby, the Black Cats recordingÂthree goals and three points following a Fabricio Coloccini red card just before half-time.The Manchester derby saw City and United partake in an intriguing and high-intensity yet inevitably goalless affair at Old Trafford, leaving Liverpool and Southampton to provide some much-needed entertainment to finish of the weekend with a 1-1 Anfield draw, courtesy of late goals from Christian Benteke and Sadio Mane.As per usual, the Premier League action put Twitter into a frenzy of vines, gifs, memes and general bantz. Just in case you missed it, we’ve compressed some of their best into our Social Media Gallery for Gameweek 10!

SHERWOOD SACKED

The biggest story of the day was Aston Villa giving Tim Sherwood a not-so-gentle shove towards the job centre. Some questioned whether it was due to his complicated tactics…

Whilst others questioned his method of opening doors…

Another tough day at the office for Wayne Rooney

Perhaps feeling the after effects of a few secret celebratory shandy and lemonades after turning 30 yesterday, it was another difficult afternoon for Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney.

And to make matters worse, he had to get his head stapled back together after this nasty gash…

KANE BACK IN FORM

Tottenham’s Harry Kane silenced his critics today with a hat-trick in a 5-1 over Bournemouth, leading to much rejoicing from Spurs fans on Twitter.

SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL

Urgh. As if Drake’s bet hedging wasn’t bad enough, this idiot turned up at Sunderland again today…

DULL DERBY

Neither side particularly disappointed in the Manchester derby but neither side were great either. In fact, United failed to record a shot in the first half for the first time since OPTA began over ten years ago.

To make matters worse, Spurs were enjoying an untelevised six-goal thriller against Bournemouth.